Bear Facts 2

Upon looking back at my fun experience and the fact that I was told to run away (never run from anything mortal (or immortal) it attracts their attention), I feel like I should give a reply.

As for what happens when you face a bear, well since I have decided to do some back packing trips this summer I figured I better know about them and how to react to them, especially since I was going in well famous bear country.

There are two kinds of bears, and no I am not talking about Black bears and Grizzly bears, Defensive and Predatory bears. A Defensive Bear is curious about why you have stumbled upon their territory. If you have gotten into a situation where you find yourself looking at a bear, and they haven’t noticed you yet, slowly back away and take a different route, or go home, lol.  But while you have your back turned make sure you keep looking back at them. These bears are also famous for their charges. Most of these will fall short within a few feet, but some will come to within nose range of you and swipe at the ground at your feet. So I ask you what do you do then? Scream? Cry like a baby? Run for your life? Stand still? Look it in the eyes? Or pee your pants? LOL yes I know you would probably do a combination of some of those, right? Well, actually the BEST option is to stand your ground and stay there. Don’t move, if you back away you are giving the bear more room to take over you. Bears don’t like to actually take you out unless they feel threatened (lol I say that now but wait until we get to the other type of bear). Saying that, if they do come, and knock you to the ground, place your hands on your head, and keep your face, and frontal body, down on the ground. If you are turned over by the bear, roll so that you are facing the ground again. If they ever decide to attack they usually go for the face, this position will protect your internal organs, and should you have a back pack on it will help protect you too. If the bear starts to scratch you, or anything, they say that you shouldn’t scream or make any noise. I always think YEAH RIGHT!!! Come on, sharp claws digging through muscle and skin, I think there is a pretty good chance I’ll scream, out of pain at least! My favorite piece of advice is that when they bear starts to eat you, then it is no longer a defensive bear but a predatory bear and you should fight back. LOL so to me where do you cross the line of them scratching, and possibly biting at you, to where they start to munch on your arm and eat you?

A Predatory bear is the one you have to fight back for. They are the ones that will follow you and try to get food. Here if they keep advancing, and looking back and forth, and generally more then curious, say hungry even, lol, then you shout at the bear. Make yourself look bigger and if they keep coming fight for your life if they get close. Kick it, hit it whatever it takes to survive. LOL they say too that if a bear should ever come into your tent that you should fight to survive, lol I think that’s just natural instinct.

Now if your lightsaber is not handy there are a few things you can use, but it is important to know the limitations of them. For example bear spray. Bear spray is good but you have to be within 3 feet of the bear (and most of us like to stay away from that close range), and it will only give you a maximum of about 15 to 20 min to high tail your ass out of there. Plus when you spray the thing it is important to know which way the wind is blowing, or you will get a nice taste too! And apparently that is not fun! I find that air horns would be one of the best things, as it would scare them from a long distance and let them know you are around. Bear Bangers are another option but personally, you have to do so much work to get them ready I think the bear would be having a nice snack on you before you even get to use the thing. I mean you have to unscrew the explosive, put the launcher in load positing, screw the explosive into the launcher, and then put the launcher into launch mod, and then make sure that you shoot it so that it is above the bear. So yes you are a nice snack by the time that charging bear shows up!

Or if all else fails, stand your ground, close your eyes, lean in and just kiss a bear! Yep that’s right kiss the bear, and let them know how much you really care for them. It usually stops them in their tracks and they are so overwhelmed by your kindness that they leave you be and spread the word. Although in bear world the word spreads quickly so you might have to kiss a few bears. Yep they like to kiss and tell!

(Yes this is a real Brown/Grizzly bear)